Hello friends and family,
Please read the following updates from Adam of our journey the last couple of weeks. I am so happy you've all helped me chronicle the miraculous lives of our two precious sons on this blog. We are overjoyed that they are having a blast in Heaven hanging out with their namesakes. What a wonderful God we serve.
Love, Erin
January 24, 2011
Hi Everyone.
First and foremost, both of us want to thank ALL of you from the bottom of our hearts for your overwhelming outpouring of support and generosity. We are truly blessed with fantastic friends, family, and co-workers. We've felt incredibly loved and are so very grateful for your continued prayers and encouragement! So thank you, thank you, thank you all!
But, on with the updates...
After 8 days in the hospital, we got to come home today!! Since about noon we've been back at the house, busily building a nest for Erin to enjoy for the next 4 1/2 weeks. Although we were a little bit nervous to leave the comfort of constant supervision at the hospital, within the first few hours back we're now appreciating just how mentally relaxing it is to be back in familiar surroundings. Having our own food, our own bed and, last but not least, our puppy dogs has really been uplifting and comforting all around. There's obviously a bit more work to do now that we're not getting every meal & snack delivered, beds changed, bathrooms cleaned, etc, but it's all very worth it :)
Erin is still feeling just great. Our prayers continue for no infections, no labor, and big happy healthy boys many many weeks from now! And on that note, now's as good a time as any to let you all know we've decided on names for the boys. We'd had a pretty good idea for a few weeks, but this last week's events have solidified our choices. They'll be Elijah ("Eli") Walter Bortka and Ezekiel ("Zeke") Wade Bortka. I've always been inspired by both (the Biblical) Elijah and Ezekiel for their outrageously strong and outspoken faith in God. And we've matched them specifically now according to their roles in this new chapter of our pregnancy: Baby A, who lost his fluid, will be Zeke. Ezekiel was called upon to go through incredible personal hardship, preach God's word, and live out his faith in a very hostile environment. We like to think that the same can be said already for Baby Zeke! Elijah, although also living and prophesying in some dicey situations, was called to be a fierce leader and inspire those around him. We also love that one of his very first recorded acts was imploring God to heal a sick child. We know that our Baby Eli can be the leader and protector his brother needs right now. The middle names, Walter and Wade, are our paternal grandparents, and we are excited to carry some family traditions & names down with the next Bortka generation.
We're so grateful for 8 miraculously uneventful days under our belts, and we continue to pray for weeks and weeks of more miracles. But for now, each hour that passes is a blessing :)
Thank you all again for your incredible support. May God Bless you all.
With much love,
The Bortka Family
January 28, 2011
Hi Everyone.
Again, I'd like to start by thanking each of you for the incredible and overwhelming support we've received these last few weeks. I know I'm sounding like a broken record, but we count ourselves as so blessed to have such amazing friends & family to walk and pray with us on this journey; I really don't have words to express our gratitude. So thank you, and praise God for the wonders He works through support of a community.
Our journey has now entered a 3rd chapter: Back at the Hospital. We were so happy to go home on Monday afternoon, and were able to relax a bit and soak up some peaceful time in familiar surroundings, sleeping in our own bed and petting the dogs :) Late Tuesday night however, we had some changes with the babies that caused us to call and come back to St. Luke's. It all felt very surreal, because we went through the same routine on being admitted, being told we were probably going to deliver that night, but in the end (Praise God!) settling into a stable waiting state, where we remain today. Although the risk for both Zeke & Eli's life and Erin's health has gone up, we've been praying continuously for God to speak to us through the doctors' wisdom. And for the moment, we are so thankful that the doctors are still comfortable with letting us choose to wait and pray. So with each hour that passes, we give thanks for health and continuation of those 2 strong little heartbeats, but pray above all that no matter how light or dark the journey gets, that we can walk completely in God's will. We can agree with Paul that:
"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort." (2 Corinthians 1:3)
So we know we can trust that when we walk in His will He will give us comfort that only our Father can give. It is through His strength alone that we can walk this journey we never anticipated. So for now we wait, and are truly thankful for each minute, hour, and day that passes. We're now up to 19 weeks and 2 days (12 days of it on bedrest!) of experiencing the miracle that is the growth of two little souls, and are so privileged to so intimately and privately know our beautiful boys.
Again, I can't thank you all enough for your unflinching support and prayers. Know that they are heard and felt.
On a practical details note, we're back at that same ward at St. Luke's, but for now emotionally it's been best to keep visitors to just immediate family. I thank you all for understanding, but please know that we are blessed by the emails, texts, posts, and all kinds of support we've received. It lifts our spirits every time and helps make each day a little brighter. I've loved adding more and more people to our contact list :)
God bless you all!
The Bortka Family
January 31, 2011
Dearest Friends & Family,
Words continue to fail to express how grateful we will always be for the tremendous love and encouragement you all have shown during these last weeks. So again, I’ll say “Thank You” from the bottom of our hearts, but know your support has made an impossible situation so much easier to bear, and that our “Thank You” falls woefully short of our true gratitude.
We count ourselves so blessed to have spent 3 years hoping for, and 19 weeks and 5 days witnessing the unequalled miracle that is the creation of two precious lives.
After so long, it broke our hearts when our precious boys spent their last minutes in this world with us this weekend.
It is a situation that if you asked objectively how it should go, we should feel not only devastated, but more intensely angry, feel like victims, and feel like statistics. We should be overcome with the “Why?”s. We should feel inconsolable. In a word, we should feel lost.
But though we are grieving, though we are heartbroken, WE ARE NOT LOST! For we know:
“The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it” (John 1:4-5)
And:
“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world”. (John 16:33)
We have shed more tears in the last few weeks than we could have ever imagined. And we know beyond any doubt that’s ok and is critical and needed to deal with our grief. But, just as importantly, we have been lit with a passion and fierce confidence in the word of God unprecedented in either of our lives. We have also seen what we believed was a strong marriage blossom into a more beautiful and steadfast relationship than either of us ever thought was possible.
Zeke and Eli will always be our sons, and dwell deep within our hearts for the rest of our lives. And though we wished so badly to watch them grow up and know them here on Earth, we know that their perfect unblemished selves are living now with their heavenly Father, helping prepare a place for our whole family to spend eternity knowing each other.
I got to share earlier what I think we will remember as the most important verse we’ve embraced during this time: “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3)
We have felt that comfort wrapped around us so tightly the last few days, and we know we could not be functioning right now without that supreme comfort. However, as we now enter a new chapter of our lives, we also take heart in the continuation of those words from Paul:
“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:4)
We will never forget this time in our lives. We will spend the rest of our days simultaneously grieving for and celebrating the new eternal life of our precious perfect angels. But while Erin and I are still walking and talking in this world, our prayer will be that through all of this, we can fulfill God’s will in that we can accept his comfort and, through benefit of our experience, share it freely and liberally with everyone around us!
So we thank you for your prayers, we thank you for your sympathy and grief. It helps us bear this load to know we have so many other shoulders pitching in. But although I never wish it for anyone, I do hope that if you find yourself in a time of grief, you take comfort first in God’s strength, and know that you have ears to listen and shoulders to cry on in the Bortka house :)
A thousand blessings for all of you,
Adam, Erin, Zeke, & Eli
P.S. The gifts, notes, acts of kindness, and prayers from all of you have been more than enough to bless us many lifetimes over! But, because some folks have asked… we’re still working out details on some funds/causes that would be grateful to accept donations or gifts in memory of our boys (although those that feel compelled to send flowers, know that Erin loves them oh so much!). We will probably be going home tomorrow (for now we’re still at St. Luke’s).
When she’s finished recuperating, we will be happy to host visitors. But we appreciate your help in keeping things quiet around the house for the first few days back. I’ll certainly let everyone know when we’re up for it. Again, we love you all more than you ever imagined!
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